


Closer to You

by pushingthesenses



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluffyfest, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushingthesenses/pseuds/pushingthesenses
Summary: Song-fic based on The Coronas // Closer to You.Ben sees you for the first time in seven years. He is determined not to miss what could be his only chance.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Closer to You

**Author's Note:**

> I know no one really writes/reads song-fics anymore but I love this song and it inspired me to write this so I figured, why not?

_My love, how does it know?  
How the hell is she home?  
Oh my god, she's home_

Ben had heard the whispers. You’d been spotted walking around town the day before. The first time anyone had seen you - bar photos on social media - since you’d moved away seven years ago and left it all behind. Left your family, your friends. _Him_. Everything.

He had wanted to hate you for it. Despise you for leaving. He couldn’t leave - his mother was too sick, she needed him there. But God, did he dream of it. He dreamt, for years, of moving to the city, just like you. Dreamt of running into you one day, bringing you for coffee. Dreamt of finally kissing you, holding you, calling you _his_.  
But he never did. Never left. Never even sent you a message.  
It was too hard. You were too far. To reach out, to speak to you when he could never have you...He’d just be torturing himself. He did enough of that already.  
But now, you were here. You were finally home, finally back within his reach. Even if it was only to catch a glimpse of you, he had to find you. Had to just... _see_ you. 

So he spent too long facing the mirror. Too long adjusting his shirt. Too long messing with his hair - his stupid hair that never sat how he wanted it to. He just wanted you to notice him. To see him. To really _see_ him. 

__

_You had me long before you could know  
The back of my mind I couldn't get you to go_

He wasn’t sure how you’d done it. How you’d managed to completely bewitch him, how you’d managed to put a spell over him and keep it there, holding him hostage, for years while you were gone. Without even seeing you, you still occupied his heart. He couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t understand it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.  
He had long since given up lying about why he didn’t date. Why he didn’t look for love elsewhere. He didn’t know why, so how could he truly explain? He’d lie, say he didn’t have the time. He was too busy with work and caring for his mother. And maybe it was partly true. He didn’t know. He stopped thinking about it.  
What he did know...What he did know, was you. His old friend. His favourite friend. He’d go to the ends of the earth for you, if you asked. He’d follow you anywhere, if you asked. But you never did.

_And as our conversation came to an end  
I found myself closer to you again  
Closer to you  
I'm not sure where I stand  
The best nights can't be planned  
_

Walking into the bar, he wasn’t sure he’d find you. He was running on fumes of hope, thinking maybe, just maybe, you’d stop by your old haunt.  
He tried not to think about why you may be in town. You never even came home for Christmas. He couldn’t understand why you were here now, in the middle of Spring. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and waded through the familiar faces. Seemed like everyone in town was out tonight. All these people, and none of them you. He nursed his whiskey, turning away from the bar, trying to disappear into the sea of people.

“Ben?” 

He felt every ounce of blood drain from his face. He whirled around, sucking in a sharp breath. 

“Princess,” the pet name slipped from his lips before he could stop it. “Hey.”

You looked so... _different_. You changed your hair. You looked like a woman, not a girl. Not a teen. You looked ethereal in the dim light - like a celestial body he had no business being so close to. He could never be worthy. 

When you smiled, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He was trembling, and he knew it. He just prayed you didn’t notice. 

“You look…” you looked him up and down, surveying him for a moment. He felt himself tense. Had he known you were coming, he would have spent weeks in the gym, weeks preening himself to perfection. But he didn’t, so he hadn’t. He took in a shaky breath, avoiding your gaze. “You look amazing.” 

When his eyes snapped back to yours, you were smiling warmly, your arms open. He just about fell into your embrace. He couldn’t remember if he ever held anyone so tight, as though he’d fall apart the second he let you go. He buried his face in your hair, biting back a sob and clutching you closer.  
“Hey,” you said softly, your hand trailing softly up and down his back. “Hey, you’re okay.”  
He nodded into your hair, inhaling deeply and composing himself. He pulled away, but still held your shoulders.  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just…” he sighed, eye’s flicking to the floor. “I just missed you.”  
His eyes slowly moved to meet yours as he felt your hand softly graze his cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I missed you too.” 

Your gaze lingered, flicking between his eyes and his lips, and he felt his hand reach up to your face, fingers trailing down your cheek. He didn’t quite feel real. Like he was floating through the stars, you as his only destination.  
But then someone loudly called your name, and he came crashing back to earth.

Your arm found his bicep and squeezed softly. “I’ll be back.” 

And then you moved to wade through the crowds of people - but no, you couldn’t disappear on him. Not again. So he followed, leaving enough space between you that you wouldn’t notice. At least, he hoped you wouldn’t.  
He had to know that this time, you would be back. That he wouldn’t have to wait longer than seven minutes instead of seven years.

_Several signs had led me to this place  
Don't fancy my chances if it's left to fate  
Something told me to take that chance  
The whiskey may have had something to do with that_

He watched you as you moved from person to person, smiling, laughing like the angel you were. If you ever noticed his staring, you didn’t show it. He felt like a creep sometimes, the way you made him. The way you transfixed him. He couldn’t peel his eyes away - couldn’t bear to, lest he miss a single movement. He missed enough already. Missed his chance with you, seven years ago. When you looked at him just-so in the light of the street lamps outside your house. He could have kissed you, then. He should have. But he was afraid. Afraid you didn’t want it - that you didn’t want him. So he didn’t. He thought that, maybe, if you did want it, he’d have another chance one day.  
But then, you left, without a word. And he thought that second chance would never come.  
But now it had. And he couldn’t miss it this time. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t sit around and wait for it to happen on its own. He had to chase it, had to chase you, make you his. Wishful thinking, maybe. Or maybe it was the whiskey.

The more he drank, the braver he felt. The less he cared that you might catch him staring. That you might catch the way his eyes hung on your lips, or how his mouth parted in silent gasps whenever his imagination got the better of him as he stared.  
And you did. You did notice. You always did.  
But you didn’t mind. You never did.

You caught his eye as he watched you. He didn’t avert his gaze - though maybe he should have, to look a little less like a stalker. But he couldn’t. The way the low-light illuminated your features, giving you a golden hue. You looked ethereal, like an angel. But you always did. And when you smiled at him? He could feel the burn in his blood. He could feel the way he needed to see that smile - over and over, again and again, for the rest of his days. And he’d do anything to get it. 

__

_And a girl outta nowhere appeared  
She told me to kiss you and then disappeared_

He didn’t notice someone sliding up beside him. Didn’t notice their eyes flicking from you to him. Had no idea she was even there until she spoke.

“Hey,”  
He jumped slightly.  
“Oh, hey, Rose.”  
Your best friend. He saw her around town regularly, but she rarely ever spoke to him. He wondered how often she even saw you. You’d just about cut ties with the whole town. 

“You missed her.”  
“Didn’t you? We all did.”  
“You know what I meant.”  
Ben said nothing. He didn’t want to shoot himself in the foot by saying too much. As he usually did. His mother did always say he got that from his father. 

“You should kiss her.”  
Ben whipped his head around to face her. “What?”  
“Don’t play dumb. Take it from me. She’ll want it. You want it.” 

Ben barely noticed her slink away. He had already turned back to face the crowd, eyes frantically searching for you among the crowd. 

“Looking for me?”  
He whirled around to face you. He felt his breath catch in his throat, his hands begin to shake by his sides. How was he supposed to do this - to kiss you, to even speak to you, when he could barely function like a normal human around you?

“Sorry,” you said, “I had to say a few hello’s. Are you alright?”  
“Huh?” He was struggling to process anything. His thoughts were too loud.  
“Are you okay? You look a little shaken.”  
He nodded, a little too urgently. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do.  
“Are you sure?” You asked again, unconvinced. Worried.  
“I’m sure,” he said, feeling himself step closer. You didn’t move away. “Very sure.”

He didn’t know what he was running on - lust, whiskey, desperation or fumes, but he was running on something, and it was pushing him closer, closer to you. His hands grew desires of their own, reaching to hold your face. Your skin was so soft and the touch shot a surge of electricity through his veins. Goosebumps covered your arms as you reached up to hold his wrists, eyes never leaving his. Your brain had gone to mush, only two words rattling around your skull like a hyper beam.  
_Ben. Finally. Ben. Finally. Finally. Finally. Ben._

His lips were centimeters from yours, now. He was nervous, his breathing uneven. He wanted it, wanted you so badly, he didn’t know how to contain it. You looked at him, really looked at him, with such a fever that he couldn’t hold on any longer. He had to have you. Had to have you now. Had to take his chance now. 

When his lips finally met yours, it was electric. Your body reacted all over - hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, goosebumps all over your arms. Your arms found themselves wrapped around his neck, your hands trailing through his hair as you pulled him closer, down to you. He kissed you so softly, so gently, you could have cried with the intensity of it. Cried for how long you’d waited. Cried for how much you missed him. One of his hands moved to cradle the back of your head, deepening the kiss and pulling your body taught to his. He didn’t want it to end. Wanted to keep you there, with him. 

And when you finally pulled apart, smiling at him so widely that you made his heart dance, he could only wish that this time, you wouldn’t leave. Or if you did, that you’d take him with you. Because he’d follow you anywhere, he would. As long as you’d have him.

_And the music it started to end  
I found myself closer to you again  
Closer to you_


End file.
